Sentinel/Guide AU for starkingenuity

[starspangledspandex]

Things have been going remarkably well between them. Even if the beginning was somewhat rocky, their compatibility was obvious and not just to them. Steve was old-fashioned and though his instincts made it clear what they wanted, he did things the "right" way. There were dates and gifts and just general wooing. They talked about it and they were ready.

He smiled at Tony, watching him as he worked and couldn't stand it anymore. "Tonight," he said, then added, for clarity, "We should bond tonight."

Maybe not the most romantic proposal but he figured he shouldn't smother Tony in it anyway or the man would get sick of it. No the rarity made it special.

Comments

[whothehellisbucky]

Tony didn't come by. Tony wasn't waiting. No one visited the Captain at all, though parts of the bond between himself and Bucky tugged from time to time as the Soldier went through rehabilitation, physically and mentally.

Natasha was with him almost exclusively, speaking in Russian to calm him and in English again to bring him back to the present.

He was the one that brought up the chemical bond dissolver a few days later and she was the one to come to Steve.

"He wants to separate," she told her captain and her friend. "It's all he talks about."

[starspangledspandex]

He asked and waited, there was nothing else he could do. They played anything he asked for on the screen and slowly he recalled things but with no one here to really point him in the right direction, he wasn't improving as quickly as he could be.

Of course, part of the time he spent just staring at the wall so that wasn't helping either. Why wouldn't Tony visit him? Helping him? He didn't understand.

Steve was quiet as Natasha offered him Bucky's request and he said, "So long as he doesn't go back to them, I'll do it."

He might have been the one to bring it up but he wasn't doing it if it led the man back to Hydra.

"Where's Tony?" he asked again. Surely she would have an answer?

[whothehellisbucky]

Natasha didn't look uncomfortable. Her face never seemed to change. "He went home after you beat the door down." There was no reason at all to lie. Not to the Captain. "You can't really blame him there can you?"

How many times did Tony have to hurt? He'd spent so long searching for Steve... Too long. And now this was all that was left.

[starspangledspandex]

No, he couldn't blame him for wanting to escape from a Sentinel that was nearly berserking to get to a Guide that wasn't him. However, soon that wasn't going to be true.

"It won't happen once the bond is dissolved," Steve said, eyes on her. He couldn't read her. He wasn't sure he wanted to. "He'll want to know when it's done."

Right? He was doing it for him. He wanted Tony. It was the entire problem. "I want to talk to him."

[whothehellisbucky]

"I'll call him." Natasha was about to leave when she paused and the pulled a phone from her incredibly tight jeans and typed in Stark's number before she handed it over to Steve. "You talk."

Tony hadn't been planning on answering but when JARVIS told him that Romanoff was ringing him. That could mean a problem and Tony couldn't risk it.

So he answered. "Yeah?"

[starspangledspandex]

He stared at the phone for a moment before raising it to his ear. Steve didn't expect that to happen immediately but he realized he might not get another chance. SHIELD was pretty strict with what they would let him do. He didn't even consider that Tony might not want to speak to him.

"Tony?" he asked, wetting his lips and shifting his gaze from Romanoff. "When are you coming back?"

[starkingenuity]

"I wasn't--" Steve. Steve had called him. Or was this SHIELD being an asshole because Tony had pulled out too quick? "You don't need me hanging around and getting in the way, Captain." He wasn't even sure how to address the man that use to love him now. "You have your Guide. You should stay with him and help each other."

[starspangledspandex]

"He wants to dissolve the bond," Steve said, because he didn't know what else to say. He agreed with it and Tony knew he already felt that way so he didn't see why this was an issue. His mind abruptly caught up with everything the man was telling him.

He actually managed to sound hurt but was it really any wonder? Tony was the only one that treated him like a person. He cared about him. "You... weren't going to come back?"

[starkingenuity]

Tony paced before he sat on the edge of the center console and tried his very best to keep from saying anything regretful. "I wasn't..." There was no reason to lie there. "I.. There wasn't anything to return to," he told Steve as gently as possible.

He didn't like to be hurt. He couldn't watch Steve constantly run to the Soldier--

"Why does he want to dissolve the bond..?"

[starspangledspandex]

Steve didn't understand. He was working on it! Tony couldn't expect his brain to fix itself so easily. He didn't know how much the man was struggling with everything.

His forehead creased, "Because I told him I wanted you and he can feel it."

[starkingenuity]

Tony's breath cane out in a audible sigh. "I wasn't trying to make anyone miserable," he said and then shrugged, not caring that Steve couldn't see it. "But I've been miserable since this happened, since you bonded to him and you left me. I know how he feels."

And Tony would have wanted to dissolve the bond too.

"I'll come back. Wait for me."

[starspangledspandex]

He wished he could be sorry but he wasn't sure he could say it and mean it right now. He just didn't remember enough about what happened. The version of their bonding that Hydra let them keep was apparently skewed somehow and he wasn't sure what to make of it. It didn't matter though, did it? It was ending soon.

"Okay, I will," he said, somewhat relieved. He would just have to try harder to be the Steve that Tony remembered.

[starkingenuity]

Tony did take his time. It had little to do with not wanting to get back to Steve and more to do with being afraid of what he'd find. He didn't want to discover that they had changed their minds. Or that Steve was going through with it. Either choice could end them.

Tony arrived in his armor and left it in the garage as he walked the halls. Anyone that came to speak with him, he ignored. Once he was with Steve, though, hd seemed to have lost his forward momentum.

"Hey...."

[starspangledspandex]

It felt like a long time between handing the phone back to Natasha and when Tony showed up. Unfortunately, he didn't have anything to do besides sit around and think. He tried to make sense of what he could and put it all in order. There were still pieces misses but it helped to watch the videos of himself. Read the articles.

He straightened when the door opened and his eyes lit up. There wasn't a smile, not yet, but he was still happy to see Tony or what passed for it right now.

"Hey," he echoed.

[starkingenuity]

Tony closed the door behind him and waited for the click before he crossed the short distance between where Steve stood and where he had been moments before to come close enough to feel his breath on his cheek.

"How did I survive so long without you?" It was more romantic than he tended to be, but Steve didn't know that and he didn't need to know that either.

[starspangledspandex]

No, he didn't know that but that was alright. It was a good thing for Steve to hear anyway after the mess he made with his Guide. His eyes followed Tony as he came over and they were enamored, curious, just as drawn to the man as ever. All he could was shrug helplessly. Was he supposed to have an answer to that?

"I think he wants it done as soon as possible."

[starkingenuity]

And still so cold. Tony didn't expect him to be anything else...and yet? Yes, he did. He wanted this to be Steve-- But it was still the Captain. "I need to start the gene therapies...in case you have to bond again right away."

Not ideal, not the way he wanted it, but they didn't have that luxury now to want the romance. "I'll be back in a few hours...and then we'll get started." The injections would be painful but necessary. If Steve started to fail with the dissolved bond, Tony would be there to take over.

[starspangledspandex]

It would take time for him to be Steve again. The best thing Tony could do was continue to support him and show him their life before this. He would come back. It was just a slow process. He should know that from all the time Steve spent helping Bucky. His life was kind of rough right now.

"Alright," he said with a nod. He didn't know what all the gene therapy entailed but it sounded like it would work quickly. "I'll let them know."

He hesitated and added, "Thank you, Tony. I know... I know I'm not same. I'm trying."

[starkingenuity]

Tony wet his lips and pressed one hand to Steve's powerful chest before he grabbed his shirt and tugged him forward for just a small kiss. "I know you are," he breathed and left the room again.

It would be five hours before the solution was brought to Steve, offered to him on a tray. It was just a simple injection, strangely enough. The doctor gazed at Steve almost sadly. "Are you sure?"

Bucky had already taken his. There had been no hesitation and Steve would be feeling it soon. Behind the doctor was Tony. Waiting. He felt somewhat feverish.

[starspangledspandex]

He watched Tony leave again, the feel of the man's lips still on his and he settled in to wait again. Steve didn't have anything else to do. He had plenty of time to think about everything and that was what he did, so when the doctor came, he said, "Yes."

Steve couldn't feel it just yet but it was too late to change his mind. He would have to live with this decision. One way or another.

"I'm guessing this will hurt," he said as the man picked up the syringe. His gaze shifted to Tony waiting behind him and then back to the doctor. He figured it should. It was two souls basically being ripped apart. It was meant to be forever. If it had the chance to kill one or both of them, it wasn't going to be easy.

[starkingenuity]

Bucky was in agony. His voice and his suffering were hard to mistake, even where they were. And Steve would feel a clamp of the bond closing between them. The pain was bright and infinite for just a moment...

And then it was completely gone again. Tony edged himself into the room because, while not connected to Steve nor Bucky, the Guide in him...and all of the Guides in the base, felt the loss of the bond. It was almost like a punch to the gut.

[starspangledspandex]

The injection itself was relatively painless. Steve heard his Guide and his suffering. It made him jump to his feet even though it was his fault and he knew exactly what was causing his pain. However, his own pain hit him soon enough and his eyes went wide and blank. The Sentinel wavered and staggered back to the bed, curling in on himself.

His hand curled over his chest and he was probably yelling, but he wasn't aware enough to realize. When the pain abruptly disappeared, Steve was left gasping. The sudden emptiness was horrible and shocking to the Sentinel. He was struggling to even himself out. The loneliness was oppressive and heart breaking, up to the point he just... didn't want to do anything.

He curled in on himself, eyes still mostly blank and teetering on the edge of a fugue.

[starkingenuity]

Tony was on him at once, hands pulling up his shirt so that he could set his palms, bare, against the soft skin beneath him. He could feel Steve breathe, which was a good sign, thankfully. Steve had not given that up completely, his body still fought.

That didn't mean that Tony didn't try his very, very best to regulate Steve, however, leaning down to press their foreheads together.

[starspangledspandex]

No, he wasn't giving up. It was just... it was a struggle. It felt like his lifeline to the world was cut. All that was left was a vast and empty hole in his heart. It didn't seem fair that he was having such a terrible reaction when he didn't want the bond in the first place. Of course, all those times they strengthened it probably didn't help.

Steve managed to roll himself over and there were tears on his cheeks. He closed his eyes when Tony touched him and pressed close. He forced his heavy arms upward to grab the man and drag him into the bed. It wasn't to initiate bonding. It was just to cling tightly to the Guide and curl up against him.

He was shaking and still on the verge of that fugue state, but Tony provided him something to focus on. Having that was helping. It wasn't perfect but it was better than nothing.

[starkingenuity]

"Leave us," Tony whispered as he held Steve tightly. He'd never done so before, he'd never needed to, but he also knew at the same time that he was never going to let go either. He nosed against the other man's forehead, stroking his fingers along his neck and across his ear.

The doctor left, collecting the syringe and closed the door to let Sentinel and Guide do what they always did...even when they weren't bonding. The were still made for each other. It was their nature.

Tony sank into Steve as he was clung to, fingering his hair.

"Come back to me," he whispered softly. "Wherever you're teetering, come back, Steve."