Sentinel/Guide AU for starkingenuity

[starspangledspandex]

Things have been going remarkably well between them. Even if the beginning was somewhat rocky, their compatibility was obvious and not just to them. Steve was old-fashioned and though his instincts made it clear what they wanted, he did things the "right" way. There were dates and gifts and just general wooing. They talked about it and they were ready.

He smiled at Tony, watching him as he worked and couldn't stand it anymore. "Tonight," he said, then added, for clarity, "We should bond tonight."

Maybe not the most romantic proposal but he figured he shouldn't smother Tony in it anyway or the man would get sick of it. No the rarity made it special.

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[starspangledspandex]

He did, because they didn't have a choice, but also just because it felt right. Why wouldn't he follow Bucky? Steve kept up without any trouble though he was also breathing hard when they got to the warehouse.

Steve laughed, "Well at least someone is."

[whothehellisbucky]

"It's not even a little fun for you to climb three stories up a brick building without rope," Bucky questioned, head back and eyes brighter than they had been for a long time. "You like being a hero. It's all you've wanted for as long as I've known you."

[starspangledspandex]

"It's a little fun. I'm just not a fan of being shot at while I do it," he pointed out, because the last time he climbed something, he ended up in the hospital for awhile. That might have been Bucky's fault.

"I just wanted to make a difference," he said, smiling warmly at the man's expression. "I think I've done okay."

[whothehellisbucky]

Steve Rogers. Still the most noble guy he knew. Bucky hand to press metal fingers over his lips so that he didn't laugh too loudly. They were still in range to be found, and laying low for the rest of the night was their best bet.

The problem was that being near Steve for longer periods of time was really starting to effect Bucky. Now that he was nearly the Super Sentinel that Steve was, he was starting to feel ways he hadn't before. It was the Guide part of him that had been fused to his very Sentinel cells to create the perfect hybrid compliment to Steve's Sentinel induced Guide-ness.

Silence drifted. "I can smell you," Bucky said unabashedly. Steve's added Sentinel called out to Bucky's added Guide. And the reverse was true too. He'd been barely Sentinel before the war and that's why he was drafted. Steve had been barely Guide.

"I think that might be why I couldn't kill you when I was mindless..."

[starspangledspandex]

He was silent for a few moments after that admission. Steve could smell him too and it was a strange feeling. It was similar to Tony. It was the same draw that he felt toward the older man. He didn't have any doubt that they were compatible. Were the numbers as good as him and Tony? He doubted it. Those numbers were off the charts. However, that didn't mean it wasn't still high and that didn't surprise him either.

"Might be," he agreed and in another lifetime he might have acted on it. Things were different now. Now there was Tony and Steve was already committed to him.

[whothehellisbucky]

But Tony wasn't here. All Bucky had was memory of the time when he and Steve tried to do something that no one back then would have understood or condoned. His mind was still fogged up and he had weird puzzle pieces of Guide and Sentinel warring inside of him wanting what he had always wanted.

If he was capable of thinking clearly, nothing would have happened. It was just easier to let the way Steve smelled charm him and flip the triggers Hydra always knew it would eventually.

He leaned over, nose touching Steve's jawline and then his earlobe.

[starspangledspandex]

He took a deep breath, trying to settle himself and keep his own mind clear. Steve was, after all, still a slave to instinct when it came down to it. He knew if he didn't nip this in the bud it was going to be a problem.

"I can't do this, Buck," he murmured, raising his hands to the man's shoulder and gently tried to push him away.

[whothehellisbucky]

"Yeah I know. Stark's kid," Bucky mumbled against the blond's smooth neck. Did he ever have to shave? His skin was so perfect. Still. That was what stuck out the most for him. There was a lot more muscle now, but Steve still felt the same over all. His tongue lapped at the spot between his ear and his neck.

Bucky let himself be pushed away, but his pupils were blown open and the pheromone release was unmistakable.

[starspangledspandex]

Lapping at his neck was not helping Steve's resolve here. It made him growl quietly, unable to help himself and he smelled the rush of pheromones as clear as anything. His body recognized it for what it was just like it had with Tony and yet, last time it was left wanting.

His body wanted what it was supposed to have already. It craved the failed completion. It really didn't care what his mind wanted either. It just felt the compatibility. His instincts couldn't understand that Tony would be better.

"I'm sorry," he added with a swallow, eyes steady as he focused on Bucky.

[whothehellisbucky]

"I understand. I've been dead," Bucky pointed out and though he sounded okay, that didn't stop him from trying to lean back in and get Steve to toss his head back.

He was reading as both Guide and Sentinel and it was confusing and wonderful and delicious for Bucky. He might say one thing but his body wanted another.

"I was dead. And then you brought me back..."

[starspangledspandex]

The other man could hardly blame him for moving right? It certainly sounded like he understood but Steve still felt a little bad about it anyway. He really wasn't trying to think about it.

Steve was as confused as Bucky about which instincts to follow. Most of him wanted to bite Bucky but there were parts that wanted to let him do the dirty work. His Guide instincts shouldn't be that prevalent with all the treatments he did so far.

"Yeah," he agrees, rather intelligently, and he couldn't make himself form any other words. This wasn't good.

[whothehellisbucky]

As if that wasn't bad enough with the mixed singles going on around here, Bucky climbed up into Steve's lap like it was natural to do so. He let his real fingers card through soft blond hair, hips undulating and head falling back. He pulled Steve's lips towards his throat.

Why bother to speak? He wanted this. His body wasn't wrong. This was natural.

[starspangledspandex]

Yeah, that wasn't helping Steve at all. He swallowed again, hands moving to settle on Bucky's hips and it was with the intent to keep them from moving but he couldn't bring himself to do it.

"Buck," he whispered, voice a little desperate, because he wanted Tony and he couldn't bond anyway.

Instinct still won and Steve snarled, unable to help himself. He was being offered a highly compatible Guide. What else could he do? He bit down, hard, everything but then suddenly out of his head.

[whothehellisbucky]

It was awkward, but a little flexibility courtesy of the Russians and endless hours of training helped Bucky to lean around and bite Steve as well. The rush of combined hormones triggered heat in them both almost instantly. Bucky shoved his hand through the wall at once point and tried to use their discarded clothing to sort of make a nest with Steve's equally useless help. It was a little hard to tell what was going on because Sentinels were notoriously savage and that overplayed the parts of each of them that were Guides.

If blood was spilled, no one noticed. Bucky could feel himself becoming Steve... And he felt Steve inside of him too. The sensation was a little frightening. He knew all about bonding. Every school kid learned the basics in school. The Guide made the bond and the Sentinel sunk that bond within him or herself. That was natural. But this felt double ended, two bonds passing parallel to one another.

Bucky didn't know who won the struggle in the end for dominance but it didn't matter. Even if Steve was inside of him, he could feel himself do the trusting. And if he had bested Steve, it hardly mattered because he felt himself filled with thick, burning bliss.

It might not be pretty or natural but it was still perfect to Bucky Barnes. He'd lost everything-- And now he'd found his mate. And he'd been there all along.

[starspangledspandex]

The rush of hormones made this almost mindless between them. It was all pure instinct and Steve gave as good as he got as they rolled around. He didn't really know who went where either. It didn't matter. They were one.

The feel of the bond was a shock but also a relief to his strained and wanting instincts. The failed bonding had more of an effect on him than even he had realized. It made him susceptible to giving in far too easily to this bond when he was pushed,

When the hormones settled and his mind cleared, he was only briefly content. Then everything came crashing down around him. It was Bucky wrapped around him and not Tony. Tony who he loved and cared about and who would absolutely be ruined.

Honestly, he wasn't doing too much better at the moment.

Steve made a strangled, horrified sound. Devestation and heartbreak rushing through him. "No," he whispered, like that would make it go away. It might be perfect for Bucky but it wasn't for Steve. He loved Bucky but he didn't want to bond him. His compatibility with Tony was perfect. He spent the last two years loving Tony.

"No," he said again, shoving out of their shoddy makeshift nest.

[whothehellisbucky]

Bucky was exhausted and things actually hurt in a pleasant way that he had forgotten was even possible. It had not been his intention to do this, but now that he had, it was like his whole awful, half forgotten life had led right up to this moment. He smiled into Steve's hair, cradling him to his chest like he use to do when Steve didn't try to hide his tears as a boy--

And then it all came crashing down. Steve's horror washed over him, physically causing him to recoil. That was the bit of Sentinel in him reacting to the Guide. His immediate attempt to reach out and calm Steve with a touch was the Guide reacting to the distressed Sentinel.

Bucky felt everything crash an he drew away the moment he tried to reach out. He knew what he had done. Steve said no. Instinct said yes.

For the first time in years, Bucky felt tears sting his eyes. "I-- I'm sorry, I just--"

[starspangledspandex]

He couldn't blame Bucky for instinct. He really couldn't. It didn't mean his heart wasn't breaking. He knew the other man could feel it but he couldn't stop it from happening.

Steve backed away further, back hitting the wall behind him and he slid down it. Tears were falling silently down his cheeks. He wasn't supposed to be able to bond. If he could, he would have already done it. They wouldn't have been able to make this mistake.

"I love you, Buck. I do," he said, voice cracking slightly. "I just... I have Tony. He has part of a bond already. It was supposed to be him." More tears fell, making it too hard for Steve to speak properly.

[whothehellisbucky]

Bucky's mind was already at war with itself and he didn't need the added stress of the new bond dumping more on him. He could literally feel his brain starting to disconnect, wires pulling out of circuit boards. Having been through these fits before, terrifying as they could be, he also knew that he wouldn't be dangerous.... Just blank. It was sort of like zoning into a fugue, only less deep and with a stopper. It was how HYDRA controlled him.

Would that drag Steve down too?

Bucky dressed quickly in whatever was left of his clothing, sluggish but still faster than a regular person would be able to.

"Don't follow me."

There was a range to these things. All he had to do was run and keep running until he couldn't feel this terrible thing any more.

[starspangledspandex]

He watched Bucky with tired, teary eyes. Steve didn't know what to say. His feelings were obvious enough. The ones coming from Bucky were confusing. The last thing he wanted the man to do was leave. They needed to talk about this.

"Buck," he said, standing up. He would let him go but he couldn't spend years hunting him again, not with their new development. "Where are you going? Where can I find you? You should come back with me. We have... We have to figure this out."

[whothehellisbucky]

"Figure it out?!" Bucky snarled, the Sentinel in him overly agitated. Bonding was not suppose to end in guilt and tears and heartache the likes of which he had never thought was possible. "What are we suppose to figure out, Steve?!"

This was suppose to be the best day of his life. Not the worst. He felt himself slipping and Bucky stopped trying to catch it. The tug on Guide end of Steve's bond ought to tell him that the fugue was imminent. Bucky was breathing hard and teetering on the edge of that abyss.

"I'm sorry for my part in it." He left a hand print as he jumped through the glassless, open window, a fist in the bricks.

He wouldn't get too far before conditioning took over. If Steve wanted to go after him, he certainly could. He was just a mile up the road and already spotted by HYDRA masquerading as whatever was left of SHIELD.

He'd be home soon.

But Tony? Bruce was going to have to sedate him. His blood pressure was through the roof and he had screamed himself hoarse right in the middle of an experiment. Tony did have panic attacks but this really was not normal.

[starspangledspandex]

"I don't know," he whispered to the empty space the man used to be standing. All he knew was they were stuck like this because in his day and age this sort of thing was permanent and if something happened to Bucky, it wouldn't be good news for Captain America.

He didn't know what the feelings from his Guide side meant. He never experienced them before and he didn't know why they activated now, except for assuming it was something the scientists had done.

Steve dressed slowly and stood, just trying to figure out what to do, before he headed home. He didn't really want to face what was coming. It hurt too much. It took awhile before Sam picked him up and he gave Steve a funny look, but he couldn't bring himself to say anything.

He just wanted to see Tony.

[starkingenuity]

Tony was asleep, artificially coaxed to unconsciousness because, frankly, there hadn't been any other way to get him to calm down. It wasn't just a panic attack and when Bruce ticked off the check marks, he could only assume that Steve Rogers, their leader, had died. Tony's end of the bond, the only end that really existed in a closed circuit, had severed.

So when Steve came back to base, Banner and everyone else was pretty damned shocked.

The blond was still told where Tony was and one of the FitzSimmons explained what had happened. They knew better than to really discuss it at the moment though.

[starspangledspandex]

It made sense. A person couldn't have two mates, right? Bonding with someone different would have to break the other tie even if Steve couldn't feel it. He didn't know for sure but it made sense. It wasn't like anyone had this come up before now.

Steve didn't talk to anyone. He just assured them he wasn't dead and went to talk to Tony. The older man deserved to hear it first. When he woke up, anyway.

[starkingenuity]

Coming out of a drug induced sleep was difficult. Tony was groggy and he felt like there was a massive part of him missing. Sam would be the only person here that could understand what the loss of a Sentinel was.

He had no idea that Steve was there at all, not until he turned, holding his head to stop the ache against his palm. He felt sick to his stomach--

And when he saw Steve, he almost fell out of bed to get to him, legs wrapped up in sheets. It would only take one touch to know that there was a fully formed bond, though. Skin to skin would tell him everything.

He didn't recoil from being caught before face planting. He just gripped Steve's arm tightly.

[starspangledspandex]

He caught him as he fell. It was easy and natural and everything felt more right with Tony than it did with Bucky. Of course, as soon as the man's hand gripped his arm, he would know that Steve broke his promise.

"I... I told him no," he whispered, tears forming again in his blue eyes. "He just... I don't know, couldn't fight his instinct."