Sentinel/Guide AU for starkingenuity

[starspangledspandex]

Things have been going remarkably well between them. Even if the beginning was somewhat rocky, their compatibility was obvious and not just to them. Steve was old-fashioned and though his instincts made it clear what they wanted, he did things the "right" way. There were dates and gifts and just general wooing. They talked about it and they were ready.

He smiled at Tony, watching him as he worked and couldn't stand it anymore. "Tonight," he said, then added, for clarity, "We should bond tonight."

Maybe not the most romantic proposal but he figured he shouldn't smother Tony in it anyway or the man would get sick of it. No the rarity made it special.

Comments

[starspangledspandex]

Tony was a target but always a hesitant one. Steve was never completely dead set on it and Hydra only got more adamant when the Captain started getting confused more often, usually after seeing him. The Soldier didn't have the same qualms which was why he protected Tony from him.

Of course, he was prone to random fits. He didn't know how to cope with the mess in his head. It was the same thing that made Tony leave before this. He didn't know how to handle stress very well. But he wouldn't hurt the man in front of him.

"I want you to stay," he said, blue eyes watching the man. "Everything... is quieter with you here."

[starkingenuity]

Taking a chance, Tony made a definite step forward and, releasing Steve's hand, placed his own over the Sentinel's chest. "I'll stay. And when I can't, you'll come with me." It was the most he could hope for, and better than he had been given reason to. His eyes were just slightly clouded over with tears but he did his best to blink that all away before the hand on his chest turned into an embrace.

He wasn't sorry for that. He needed to hold him.

"I'll make everything quiet for you, I promise." Strange, considering how loud Tony tended to be!

[starspangledspandex]

His forehead raised at the promise. He would go with Tony? He felt like SHIELD wouldn't allow that and even if they did, Hydra was bound to be searching for a way to get their hands on him again. He wouldn't say he was afraid but he didn't like the idea either.

Steve nodded, eyes drifting to the blank screen, "And the Soldier?"

[starkingenuity]

Tony paused. The Soldier. "I...I can't offer your Guide anything." And even if he could, he wouldn't want to. Tony only wanted one thing...to unbond the pair. He was ready to start his life with Steve. He'd been ready for a long time.

He just wasn't about to say any of that. He wasn't stupid. He knew that the Captain was obligated to the one he was bonded to. Tony just held distain for the Soldier.

[starspangledspandex]

He presses his lips together. It's true that the Soldier is his bonded but he's not sure now that he'd even wanted it to happen. Steve has difficulty processing it. It's not the Soldier's fault; it's Hydra's. It's cruel to everyone involved. Regardless, he's visibly agitated.

"I don't want him," he said and it was not nearly as gentle as Steve might have said it, but it was true. Steve might have waxed poetic about how wonderful Bucky was but they were never supposed to end up together. The Captain didn't have the same tact or qualms as Steve in that department. He did care for the Soldier but he was already keeping his Guide at a distance. It was impossible to truly shut him out without it hurting.

[starkingenuity]

That Steve might go for the best case scenario left Tony trembling. He might be the only one currently holding onto Steve...but that was all right too. The programming was not tied in with the Soldier. It was just something that would take work.

"There's a way to remove your bond with the other Guide." Bucky wouldn't die, but...he wouldn't be too happy either. Outside this chamber. Natasha and Clint were sharing glances. Tony was moving too fast here.

[starspangledspandex]

"There is?" Steve asked, blue eyes curious and he didn't return the embrace that Tony was giving him but he only pulled back slightly now to look at the man. His forehead creased as he considered this information. His mind was racing as he considered the angles and what he knew of the world. The Soldier would be very unhappy but Hydra wouldn't be able to use them against one another either.

Still, neither of them were in good shape right now. If the Captain was this confused, surely the Soldier was just as bad?

"Does he remember?"

[starkingenuity]

Tony shook his head. "He doesn't remember anything. And he's worse off than you are." He hadn't exactly wanted to be completely honest there but Steve brought that trait out in him. Tony stood back and glanced towards the door behind him. "There's a medical treatment to break a bond. It's going to hurt but you were...designed...not to let that kill you."

Why? Tony had a theory that it was to sure he could rebond if a Guide wasn't working out for him. Or because he never needed a Guide in the first place.

Tony did look a little guilty, though. It was so hard not to.

[starspangledspandex]

The Soldier's programming always ran deeper than his and it made him frown, because he wanted the man to understand his mind, but he would only see Tony as a target. He wouldn't understand why his Captain didn't want to be bonded to him. He wasn't sure he understood himself. It was just a vague feeling of utter rightness when he was with Tony.

"Would it kill him?"

More than likely, it was in case something bad happened to his Guide in the field. It was during a war. People died and often. They couldn't lose their super soldier because someone got past him to his Guide.

[starkingenuity]

"No." Tony paused and then felt his jaw open. "I mean... I don't think so." Bucky was a Sentinel. He'd been made into a Guide as Steve had become a Sentinel. Truthfully, it could kill Bucky if the Sentinel part of him took over again. "He's special. That could mean he..."

Okay, Tony couldn't kill an innocent man because he wanted his lover back.

"I'm sorry, Steve. I don't know what it will do to him but he could die. We... Can't risk it. This wasn't his fault."

[starspangledspandex]

"So maybe," he summarized, because that was the simplest version of the man's rambling. He didn't see how that was fair. If they were both special, why wouldn't they both survive? Hydra ruined his life. Even if he didn't remember his past, he could certainly see his future well enough.

"Is there any way to know?" he asked, but ultimately it was up to the Soldier wasn't it? The Captain didn't like their chances. He sat down on the edge of the bed. He was unable to get the one thing he knew he wanted.

[starkingenuity]

"We could try it and if he doesn't do well, you could reestablish the bond." But Tony wasn't going to force this on someone and he didn't want to watch Steve fuck someone else when their first and only time had left him in the hospital.

Tony shook his head and leaned against the wall.

"It's okay. We'll just work on getting your memory back of me, okay?" He crossed the distance and set his hand in Steve's. "If you can remember us...you can help him remember who he was."

[starspangledspandex]

He was fairly certain reestablishing the bond wouldn't be fun for either of them. Of course, he didn't know what 'fun' really was anymore so he might not have the best judgment in that department. Usually strengthening the bond was pleasant, but after he tried to destroy it to bond someone else? Yeah.

"Okay," he said, watching Tony as he crossed to him. He curled his hand around the one the man rested on his. It made sense. He wanted his memories back and in order. "How?"

[starkingenuity]

"I...I think we just talk." It would take time. Bucky's returned to him slowly after almost two years on his own... They might be able to half that if Tony helped.

So since he could only dicuss what he knew of Steve, of their shared memories, he tucked himself up against a Sentinel that didn't know that Tony abhored being touched by anyone but him and started at the very begining.

It was going to take days, maybe weeks, to get through it all. He kept having to stop to share some anecdote or little remembered detail here and there...like how looking Steve firmly in the eye in the lab on the hellicarrier after they had yelled at one another made his whole world dissolve.

Steve had become his everything in that one moment and Tony tried to paint the picture with words as best he could.

[starspangledspandex]

He shifted on the bed so he could lean back against the wall while Tony snuggled up against him. He recognized that much as Guide behavior because the Soldier liked to sit close too. The Captain didn't protest because Tony really did draw him in and captivate him.

When he started telling stories, he listened and largely without interrupting. He didn't have a lot to say and Tony was more interesting anyway. He struggled to recall what he could of the stories that the man was telling. Sometimes there were moments and sometimes there weren't, but it seemed to be helping. At least a little.

"We were arguing," he muttered. "I was really frustrated. Angry."

[starkingenuity]

"We didn't see the situation the same way. I insulted you...you insulted me. It was a lot of male posturing," Tony said, his head on Steve's shoulder as he closed his eyes. It was quite the shame that Steve didn't seem inclined to hold him back, but that was for the best. Tony could smell his bond on him and he knew...he just knew how terrible this was. He shouldn't be so needy with a taken Sentinel--

But he'd had Steve's love first. They'd done things the right way.

"You dated me for three months before you let me kiss him," Tony said, though his voice felt like it was going to break as they got to this part. "It was at the movie theater. People were staring back at us all night. You loved the movies. You told me you use to watch them all the time when you were younger."

[starspangledspandex]

It was easier to remember with Tony being patient and in this proximity his calm was helping, at least a little. The Soldier was irritated wherever he was at which wasn't helping him focus at all. He preferred Tony's calm. He might not hold him but his blue eyes shifted to scan the man's face while his eyes were closed.

"You fall asleep on me when we watch movies on the couch," he said, and apparently it happened regularly if he remembered it so vividly. "And I think you eat more popcorn than me."

[starkingenuity]

His eyes widened and Tony moved back just so he could see Steve's face before he broke out in a hopeful grin. "Yes. On both counts. But you get so wrapped up in movies that I just naturally eat more and-- are you calling me fat, Rogers?"

Now might not be the proper time it joke but he had little recourse. His heart was pounding so fast.

"You use to carry me to bed." He always woke up alone since they were waiting to bond... But Steve would be in the kitchen the next morning cooking for him too.

[starspangledspandex]

"No," he shook his head, too busy trying to remember to realize that was a joke. Hydra really didn't joke a lot either. The grin on Tony's face told him it wasn't a bad thing though and that he was right, well, that meant more to him than most things right now. "You're not that heavy."

Steve sighed wistfully and said, "I shouldn't have waited. This wouldn't have happened."

[starkingenuity]

How much of that was a memory and how much was it from the tale Tony had been telling? At least Steve had wants and desires of his own at the moment. That was one very big step.

"You wanted to do it right and I respected that. I still respect it. It's going to be perfect, when it happens. I promise you." Tony was never more committed than he was now.

[starspangledspandex]

Even Steve didn't know the answer to that question. How could he ever really trust his memory again? Hydra took everything from him. He didn't quite trust himself though if what Tony told him was true, they didn't have time to ingrain things as deeply as the Soldier.

It was going to be a slow process. He wanted and desired things now, but it would probably ebb and flow. It would probably keep getting better but it might regress some days. Tony was going to have to be very patient with him.

He nodded silently and then said, "What else do I forget?"

[starkingenuity]

Tony was just not a patient man. That said, when it came to Steve, he'd willingly stayed celibate for two years. He'd spent six months chasing ghosts. If it meant having to explain everything to Steve over and over again, he would.

So he told him about birthdays. And how sometimes Steve would just hold him until he fell asleep.

"And the way you kiss-- I've never been kissed like you kiss me."

[starspangledspandex]

He listened and not just because he didn't have anything better to do, but because he wanted to listen. He asked and Tony was answering. It was normal. Well, as normal as things could get when he was missing over half of his memories and couldn't remember most of his life.

It sounded wonderful. Almost like a dream. How could his life have been so perfect? It was almost suspicious but then, he was here now and he was broken, probably beyond fixing, so he supposed that was the universe sorting it out. Maybe? He still didn't feel like he could make that judgement call. Part of him felt like he was just a weapon and that was Hydra's training. It was a hard thing to get past.

The Captain tilted his head slightly, running his tongue over his lips briefly and then said, "Kiss me."

[starkingenuity]

To be perfectly honest, Tony wasn't mentioning the bad parts on purpose. They didn't always see eye to eye. They didn't always deal well under pressure when one or the other was hurt. Some things shouldn't be mentioned when trying to whoo your intended Sentinel.

Tony blinked up at Steve when he made that small demand and It made him smile almost sadly.

"How I want to kiss you or how you use to kiss me?" He didn't need to be told. "Let me show you the way you would do it." Tony cupped the back of Steve's neck and with the other hand, stroked his knuckles over his cheek. He leaned in to kiss one eyebrow and then his nose and finally leaned in to press a kiss to his mouth, sweet and breathing out happily.

[starspangledspandex]

No, they didn't, though he knew some of it just from the brief glimpses. All in all, it was a very good life or it sounded like it. Steve was frustrated with not being able to remember but he was doing everything he could to remember.

Including kissing a Guide that wasn't, technically, his.

Steve didn't answer, he apparently didn't need to, because Tony already new what he wanted. Either he was very predictable or the man just knew him that well. He let the Guide show him, trying to memorize it and the feel of it. Even if he never remembered, at least he would know and he could mimic this easy enough.

...and he did, raising his hand to gently grip the man's neck and brushing his lips against his forehead, before pressing them lightly to Tony's mouth. It was obvious he was learning here. It was the only thing he could do.