Sentinel/Guide AU for starkingenuity

[starspangledspandex]

Things have been going remarkably well between them. Even if the beginning was somewhat rocky, their compatibility was obvious and not just to them. Steve was old-fashioned and though his instincts made it clear what they wanted, he did things the "right" way. There were dates and gifts and just general wooing. They talked about it and they were ready.

He smiled at Tony, watching him as he worked and couldn't stand it anymore. "Tonight," he said, then added, for clarity, "We should bond tonight."

Maybe not the most romantic proposal but he figured he shouldn't smother Tony in it anyway or the man would get sick of it. No the rarity made it special.

Comments

[starkingenuity]

"I never got around to showing you this one." He wasn't blind. He knew Steve was looking at him. "There's a lot that I never got the chance to do."

Each moment with Steve was like eating glass. Christ, he wanted just to kiss him-- But how could he do that to another Guide? Silence followed for long periods of time before Tony gave up all of his wants and reached for Steve's hand.

What was the worst that could happen?

Famous last words there.

[starspangledspandex]

His forehead was definitely going to have permanent crease lines in it. He ate his fourth and fifth slices of pizza as Tony talks. Steve is trying to remember more. He was trying to put the pieces together but it was hard when he was missing so many.

He stilledd completely when the man grabbed his hand. He stared down at it uncertain and confused and not at all liking how it made him feel. He had a Guide. His Soldier was his partner, right? Why then, did he feel such a driving pull toward Tony? Why did it feel so much better? It wasn't supposed to feel better.

The Captain yanked his hand back, rapidly scooting backward until his back hit the wall and he raised his hands to his temples. "I don't understand. I don't understand."

[starkingenuity]

Sending the Captain into a spiral was not what he wanted. He'd just wanted to hold his hand for a little while. To feel skin against skin. In the other room, the Soldier was getting agitated because of Steve and the feedback loop was starting.

"I--"

They came for Tony then to get the Super Soldier and Super Guide to calm themselves again. Tony felt so helpless, slumping in his chair. The robot movie was turned off. The pizza was going cold. And Tony felt no more closer to any answers.

[starspangledspandex]

His sad and confused blue eyes followed Tony out of the room when the other agents came for him. Steve didn't want to be alone. Really? He just wanted the world to make sense again. He wanted his head to sort itself out. Short of that, he wanted his Guide, but... he wasn't even sure who that was anymore.

The Soldier was a lie and now he felt it every time Tony was close to him. It scared him because it altered the narrow view of the world that Hydra forced on him. He could feel the Soldier on the other end of their bond. He was agitated but the Sentinel couldn't do anything about it. He wrapped his arms around himself and stared at the box of pizza.

He could hardly be considered in his right mind and maybe not even capable of rational thought, but the Captain believed what he was shown. There were jumbles of it in his head. He knew one thing for sure. He wanted to chose for himself. He already had chosen and Hydra had given him to the Soldier instead. Together, they were too broken.

He stood and banged on the door a handful of times.

One of the agents addressed him through the intercom. "Captain?"

"I want Tony."

[starkingenuity]

Tony had been asleep but they made the decision to wake him anyway. "The Captain is calling for you," one of the agents said and Tony almost killed himself trying to get out of bed quickly. He showered, Sentinels had strong noses, and then dressed quickly before telling the guard to let him in.

Tony stood by the door, slipping his hands into his pockets.

"Heard you made some progress, Steve. They said you asked for me directly...?"

[starspangledspandex]

"Yes," he said simply, like that answered the question of why the man was here and the Sentinel wasn't even sure what his ultimate goal was with bringing the man back. The world was quieter with him here. He was Steve's only link to what he used to be. It was a dangerous thing to trust but there was too much of it for them to fake.

Steve stepped forward and reached out for Tony's hand, prompting the trigger happy Agents watching to blare an alarm. "Step back, Captain."

He jerked back at the sound alone, forehead creasing as he resumed his awkward staring at Tony.

[starkingenuity]

"You're going to go away now," Tony snapped at the agent and all but shoved the man to the door. He waited for it to close behind him before he turned back to Steve and mirrored the Captain's original attempt to touch him.

Holding his hand out, palm up, Tony kept his eyes on the Sentinel. He knew that the Captain was able to ignore the instinct not to hurt a Guide, but he was still absolutely sure that Steve, beneath the Captain, was still in there and would never let that happen.

Tony took a step forward. He was tentative only because he was afraid of spooking the Sentinel.

[starspangledspandex]

No, he wasn't going to hurt Tony. It was never his intention. SHIELD was just being jumpy because he was dangerous and he had an equally dangerous Guide in a room down the hallway. Yet, the Soldier wasn't the one he asked and that was because he was drawn to Tony in ways that should impossible when he already had a bond.

When Tony outstretched his hand, Steve's gaze shifted to the door and then to the ceiling. Was this a test? The man didn't look happy about the warning they gave the Captain and that was what prompted him to move, albeit slowly.

He settled his hand over Tony's outstretched one and it wasn't a great angle, so it was awkward, but it still lit up some small part of him. He closed his eyes, straining for some small measure of comfort from a Guide that wasn't even his.

[starkingenuity]

A little shift of the wrist was all he needed and Tony could draw Steve's hand to his lips. He kissed his knuckles lightly, as he did a hundred times before, eyes firmly locked on the Captain's in case he gave any sign at all about being distressed or angry.

There was still a trust in all of this, however. But this kiss, even if it was only delivered to Steve's hand, was the first that he had had in a long time. Tony felt his eyes closing to keep the emotion he felt bubbling inside of him rising up like bile into his throat. He was going to weep.

He just knew it.

Clearing his throat, Tony whispered against Steve's hand: "Tell me how I can help you."

[starspangledspandex]

He watched as Tony drew his hand to his lips. Affection wasn't high on his list of normal interactions. Neither he, nor the Soldier, was terribly good at it. They renewed their bond, sure, but it wasn't the same as this.

The Sentinel didn't know which were becoming some of the most frustrating words in existence. He shook his head at the question. He didn't know what Tony could do. He didn't even know what his options were. He was used to people telling him things and him doing it. The End. If he hesitated, they used the Soldier against him.

Finally, he asked, "What do I have to do, to have you stay?" He wanted more than that. He wanted Tony in the space where the Soldier was but he didn't even know if that was possible. He didn't remember.

[starkingenuity]

Tony's eyes snapped open and he straightened up, looking like he had been socked in the gut or sucker punched in the jaw. He had to draw in a shaky breath, swallowing, before the corners of his mouth tilted up.

"You only have to ask, Steve," he whispered. This could be a ploy. This could be in his programming. Tony was a target, wasn't he? He was someone dangerous to HYDRA's little outfit here. But the recklessness Tony always possessed coupled with the lack of desire to live without Steve made him not care if he could die for this mistake.

Steve would be with him if that happened....and that's all that mattered at this point.

[starspangledspandex]

Tony was a target but always a hesitant one. Steve was never completely dead set on it and Hydra only got more adamant when the Captain started getting confused more often, usually after seeing him. The Soldier didn't have the same qualms which was why he protected Tony from him.

Of course, he was prone to random fits. He didn't know how to cope with the mess in his head. It was the same thing that made Tony leave before this. He didn't know how to handle stress very well. But he wouldn't hurt the man in front of him.

"I want you to stay," he said, blue eyes watching the man. "Everything... is quieter with you here."

[starkingenuity]

Taking a chance, Tony made a definite step forward and, releasing Steve's hand, placed his own over the Sentinel's chest. "I'll stay. And when I can't, you'll come with me." It was the most he could hope for, and better than he had been given reason to. His eyes were just slightly clouded over with tears but he did his best to blink that all away before the hand on his chest turned into an embrace.

He wasn't sorry for that. He needed to hold him.

"I'll make everything quiet for you, I promise." Strange, considering how loud Tony tended to be!

[starspangledspandex]

His forehead raised at the promise. He would go with Tony? He felt like SHIELD wouldn't allow that and even if they did, Hydra was bound to be searching for a way to get their hands on him again. He wouldn't say he was afraid but he didn't like the idea either.

Steve nodded, eyes drifting to the blank screen, "And the Soldier?"

[starkingenuity]

Tony paused. The Soldier. "I...I can't offer your Guide anything." And even if he could, he wouldn't want to. Tony only wanted one thing...to unbond the pair. He was ready to start his life with Steve. He'd been ready for a long time.

He just wasn't about to say any of that. He wasn't stupid. He knew that the Captain was obligated to the one he was bonded to. Tony just held distain for the Soldier.

[starspangledspandex]

He presses his lips together. It's true that the Soldier is his bonded but he's not sure now that he'd even wanted it to happen. Steve has difficulty processing it. It's not the Soldier's fault; it's Hydra's. It's cruel to everyone involved. Regardless, he's visibly agitated.

"I don't want him," he said and it was not nearly as gentle as Steve might have said it, but it was true. Steve might have waxed poetic about how wonderful Bucky was but they were never supposed to end up together. The Captain didn't have the same tact or qualms as Steve in that department. He did care for the Soldier but he was already keeping his Guide at a distance. It was impossible to truly shut him out without it hurting.

[starkingenuity]

That Steve might go for the best case scenario left Tony trembling. He might be the only one currently holding onto Steve...but that was all right too. The programming was not tied in with the Soldier. It was just something that would take work.

"There's a way to remove your bond with the other Guide." Bucky wouldn't die, but...he wouldn't be too happy either. Outside this chamber. Natasha and Clint were sharing glances. Tony was moving too fast here.

[starspangledspandex]

"There is?" Steve asked, blue eyes curious and he didn't return the embrace that Tony was giving him but he only pulled back slightly now to look at the man. His forehead creased as he considered this information. His mind was racing as he considered the angles and what he knew of the world. The Soldier would be very unhappy but Hydra wouldn't be able to use them against one another either.

Still, neither of them were in good shape right now. If the Captain was this confused, surely the Soldier was just as bad?

"Does he remember?"

[starkingenuity]

Tony shook his head. "He doesn't remember anything. And he's worse off than you are." He hadn't exactly wanted to be completely honest there but Steve brought that trait out in him. Tony stood back and glanced towards the door behind him. "There's a medical treatment to break a bond. It's going to hurt but you were...designed...not to let that kill you."

Why? Tony had a theory that it was to sure he could rebond if a Guide wasn't working out for him. Or because he never needed a Guide in the first place.

Tony did look a little guilty, though. It was so hard not to.

[starspangledspandex]

The Soldier's programming always ran deeper than his and it made him frown, because he wanted the man to understand his mind, but he would only see Tony as a target. He wouldn't understand why his Captain didn't want to be bonded to him. He wasn't sure he understood himself. It was just a vague feeling of utter rightness when he was with Tony.

"Would it kill him?"

More than likely, it was in case something bad happened to his Guide in the field. It was during a war. People died and often. They couldn't lose their super soldier because someone got past him to his Guide.

[starkingenuity]

"No." Tony paused and then felt his jaw open. "I mean... I don't think so." Bucky was a Sentinel. He'd been made into a Guide as Steve had become a Sentinel. Truthfully, it could kill Bucky if the Sentinel part of him took over again. "He's special. That could mean he..."

Okay, Tony couldn't kill an innocent man because he wanted his lover back.

"I'm sorry, Steve. I don't know what it will do to him but he could die. We... Can't risk it. This wasn't his fault."

[starspangledspandex]

"So maybe," he summarized, because that was the simplest version of the man's rambling. He didn't see how that was fair. If they were both special, why wouldn't they both survive? Hydra ruined his life. Even if he didn't remember his past, he could certainly see his future well enough.

"Is there any way to know?" he asked, but ultimately it was up to the Soldier wasn't it? The Captain didn't like their chances. He sat down on the edge of the bed. He was unable to get the one thing he knew he wanted.

[starkingenuity]

"We could try it and if he doesn't do well, you could reestablish the bond." But Tony wasn't going to force this on someone and he didn't want to watch Steve fuck someone else when their first and only time had left him in the hospital.

Tony shook his head and leaned against the wall.

"It's okay. We'll just work on getting your memory back of me, okay?" He crossed the distance and set his hand in Steve's. "If you can remember us...you can help him remember who he was."

[starspangledspandex]

He was fairly certain reestablishing the bond wouldn't be fun for either of them. Of course, he didn't know what 'fun' really was anymore so he might not have the best judgment in that department. Usually strengthening the bond was pleasant, but after he tried to destroy it to bond someone else? Yeah.

"Okay," he said, watching Tony as he crossed to him. He curled his hand around the one the man rested on his. It made sense. He wanted his memories back and in order. "How?"

[starkingenuity]

"I...I think we just talk." It would take time. Bucky's returned to him slowly after almost two years on his own... They might be able to half that if Tony helped.

So since he could only dicuss what he knew of Steve, of their shared memories, he tucked himself up against a Sentinel that didn't know that Tony abhored being touched by anyone but him and started at the very begining.

It was going to take days, maybe weeks, to get through it all. He kept having to stop to share some anecdote or little remembered detail here and there...like how looking Steve firmly in the eye in the lab on the hellicarrier after they had yelled at one another made his whole world dissolve.

Steve had become his everything in that one moment and Tony tried to paint the picture with words as best he could.