Sentinel/Guide AU for starkingenuity

[starspangledspandex]

Things have been going remarkably well between them. Even if the beginning was somewhat rocky, their compatibility was obvious and not just to them. Steve was old-fashioned and though his instincts made it clear what they wanted, he did things the "right" way. There were dates and gifts and just general wooing. They talked about it and they were ready.

He smiled at Tony, watching him as he worked and couldn't stand it anymore. "Tonight," he said, then added, for clarity, "We should bond tonight."

Maybe not the most romantic proposal but he figured he shouldn't smother Tony in it anyway or the man would get sick of it. No the rarity made it special.

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[starkingenuity]

"Sorry about that," Tony said. He didn't want to hurt Steve. "But you'll live. I promise. Learning sometimes sucks."

He recklessly joined his boyfriend on the mattress, close enough so that they could smell each other, close enough to be within arm's reach of one another.

He knew what he was doing. His eyes stayed on Steve.

"What do you remember about me? What bits and pieces?"

[starspangledspandex]

The man didn't sound especially sorry but then again, the Captain probably wasn't the best judge. He tracked the movement of the man over to the bed. He could smell him and that did things for him he was sure he wasn't supposed to feel.

It confused him.

His forehead was going to be perpetually creased at this point. "I... It's flashes, like a photograph. It's hard to see some things. I remember... making you breakfast? Watching you work in... some kind of workshop."

[starkingenuity]

Those flashes were more precious to Tony than he had initially realized that they might. His eyes welled but he blinked away the moisture. He wasn't an idiot and crying was weakness. He couldn't be weak.

"You cook better than I do. You use to come over and surprise me." It wasn't like Steve could sleep over. They had been trying not to give in physically to temptation. Sex would have meant bonding.

It had been a rough patch for Tony, dealing with his hand.

"And we use to fix your motorcycle together."

[starspangledspandex]

He scrunched up his face like that might help him remember. The Captain was afraid to remember and wanted to all at the same time. It was obvious that Tony had feelings for him but what about his bond? He had a mate.

...though, he wavered on that point often enough too. The memory of his bonding was rough around the edges. He didn't know what led to the actual act. Tony kept saying he loved him. He didn't understand. There was an odd disconnect between his Soldier and Tony--why?

[starkingenuity]

It was all right that Steve didn't remember all of it. It would take time to come back and Tony was oddly all right with that too. He just wanted to stay here and watch some home movies and be with the Sentinel.

"You can ask me anything, Steve. If you're confused, I'll answer and try to give you proof that I'm not lying."

[starspangledspandex]

"I don't... I don't know where to start," The Captain murmured, because there was just so much.

No, that was a lie. He did know where to start.

"Why?" he demanded, finally. He gestured toward Bucky on the screen. "I have a mate. But you say you love me. We danced and kissed. I made you breakfast and you helped with my motorcycle. Often."

He added the last as an afterthought because it felt like more than once though he couldn't necessarily confirm it.

"I don't understand."

[starkingenuity]

"We were always planning to bond. You wanted to court me for awhile," Tony commented. "So we played by your rules. You know, supposedly we are one of the mostly highly compatible set ever recorded?"

Hey. He just really liked to brag okay?

"But we couldn't. Something went wrong...I was the only one that held the connection. Right up until you bonded to Bucky instead."

[starspangledspandex]

No, he didn't know and that was the whole point of this. If he knew, he wouldn't have asked. It was just as shocking to him now as it had been the first time. Of course, it explained why he felt weird around the man.

"Why would I do that?" he asked, forehead creasing. He could piece together some of their relationship but if they were as serious as Tony was suggesting... why would he bond someone else instead?

[starkingenuity]

Tony leaned back, his eyes fixed on Steve. There was so much he wanted to say any yet could not. Those things were reserved for when Steve knew him again.

"It's nature. He was specifically made to fit you. Hydra planned it." Bucky probably loved Steve too and while he was technically first, Tony wanted him more.

He had never clicked with anyone like he had with Rogers.

He couldn't give that up.

[starspangledspandex]

So their mating was engineered by their handlers and the man that was likely his mate was sitting here. It made him wary still. It didn't feel like a trap but yet he was conditioned to think that it was by Hydra.

"Show me more," he demanded. He wanted more proof. He needed to see it for himself.

[starkingenuity]

That was easy. Tony had a tablet with him loaded with all sorts of things. He and Steve had never mastered the selfie, but when they were going out, paparazzi followed. There were some fantastic candids on Tumblr and videos on YouTube. Tony watched them with Steve, wishing he could curl up against him.

It ended with the picture of their nest... The one that Tony had spent hours building for them. It was bittersweet.

[starspangledspandex]

Steve watched, horribly conflicted as he watched them smile and laugh with one another. There was so much he didn't remember. The more recent memories weren't there at all. The nest, in particular, but along the side he could read all the congratulations and finally!s as the world celebrated with them.

He tore his gaze away, wrapping his arms around his knees and brought forward the memory of his bonding with the Soldier. There was no nest, just scraps and desperation and hesitation on his part. It looked like a mistake compared to the nest that Tony had made them.

The proof was undeniable, even if he couldn't remember it, there was in front of him. The Soldier loved him and he had no doubts there. He loved the man in return but if they were friends... it made sense, didn't it? To feel that close to him?

He didn't say anything. He didn't know what to say.

[starkingenuity]

And he didn't have to say anything. Tony was washed with compassion... And honestly that was difficult for him. Steve brought out the best. He'd always had since they met and glared at one another and fell in love.

"Are you hungry? That's one thing I can fix. Pizza? I know the place you like."

[starspangledspandex]

He shrugged one shoulder, which is a habit, because he was trained to not want anything. Their handlers fed them if they were out of their boxes long enough. It happened increasingly more as time went on and they felt like they were getting a handle on The Captain. They also wanted their bond to be strong so it would be harder for him to stray or question his orders.

Obviously, it wasn't helping as much as they hoped.

Finally, he nodded, "I am."

[starkingenuity]

"Good. I'll be back in a little while." Tony didn't try to touch Steve. Once upon a time, he had curled up against him, set his head to a broad shoulder, and forgot that they were both incredibly powerful and influential men. Now he just felt useless.

But he could still get pizza.

Iron Man zipped from Brooklyn and back in less than thirty minutes, freshly made pizza in hand. He left several boxes with Thor, not caring if the Asgardian would eat it all. He just needed to present Steve with their typical Friday night date.. Pizza, rum and cokes, and popcorn.

[starspangledspandex]

In the time that Tony was gone, the Captain watched his Guide talk with the other agents. None of this was fun or pleasant for them but he could only wonder what they were talking about.

He could only tell that the Soldier was unhappy which wasn't unexpected.

[starkingenuity]

It was probably a risk, but when Tony returned he turned off the feed from Bucky's room. He wanted this to be about himself and the Captain. And Steve. He could still see him in there, briefly, the light in his eyes when he entered the room. "Got your favorite," he said as he juggled all of the goodies. "And I thought that maybe we'd watch something. Are you in the modd for sappy romance or giant robots?"

[starspangledspandex]

His forehead creased and he frowned as the feed switched off. He could still feel him so he was reassured that nothing untoward was going on. The Captain watched Tony as he shook the stuff he was holding and he gave the older man an uncertain, confused look. He didn't even know what his favorite food was, how was he supposed to know what he wanted to watch?

"It doesn't matter," he said finally, because to him, it really didn't.

[starkingenuity]

"Okay. It doesn't have to matter. Just pick," Tony said as he pantomimed for Steve to take the two liter bottle of soda from under his arms. He set himself, and the pizza, on the floor and opened the box.

Steve's mouth ought to to be watering by now.

[starspangledspandex]

"Robots," he decided, though it was the equivalent of a coin toss.

His forehead creased and he glanced again at the empty screen where his bonded used to be, then eyed Tony. He shifted forward to take the soda and he eyed it, before turning his gaze onto the man sitting on the floor. The pizza did smell good. He was starving. Their handlers didn't exactly feed them delicious food.

He sat down with the other man. Steve just stared at the box of pizza and waited for permission to grab a piece.

[starkingenuity]

Robots. Tony made that happen before he settled back, shoulder inches from Steve's. He was doing his best not to force himself on the other man, though at the moment all he wanted to do was rest his cheek on Steve's shoulder and go back to the days when they were stil stupidly courting--

But he did not. They could not. Instead, he ate two full slices of pizza instead before he realized that Steve was waiting for him. That was so sad.

"You can eat. You never have to ask me that."

[starspangledspandex]

He eyed the screen when the movie started but his gaze was quickly drawn back to the box on the floor in front of them. The Captain would have to admit that watching Tony eat wasn't fun. His handlers ate in front of them sometimes but nothing that smelled so good and not when he was legitimately hungry.

Steve didn't even question it. He absorbed the information and the order, but didn't waste anymore time than that. He reached out and promptly inhaled two slices of pizza before grabbing a third.

This piece he ate slower and he frowned at the movie around the pizza. He really didn't care about it. Steve preferred to watch Tony. Silently. Maybe a bit creepily. He was just more interesting than the fake story on the screen.

[starkingenuity]

"I never got around to showing you this one." He wasn't blind. He knew Steve was looking at him. "There's a lot that I never got the chance to do."

Each moment with Steve was like eating glass. Christ, he wanted just to kiss him-- But how could he do that to another Guide? Silence followed for long periods of time before Tony gave up all of his wants and reached for Steve's hand.

What was the worst that could happen?

Famous last words there.

[starspangledspandex]

His forehead was definitely going to have permanent crease lines in it. He ate his fourth and fifth slices of pizza as Tony talks. Steve is trying to remember more. He was trying to put the pieces together but it was hard when he was missing so many.

He stilledd completely when the man grabbed his hand. He stared down at it uncertain and confused and not at all liking how it made him feel. He had a Guide. His Soldier was his partner, right? Why then, did he feel such a driving pull toward Tony? Why did it feel so much better? It wasn't supposed to feel better.

The Captain yanked his hand back, rapidly scooting backward until his back hit the wall and he raised his hands to his temples. "I don't understand. I don't understand."

[starkingenuity]

Sending the Captain into a spiral was not what he wanted. He'd just wanted to hold his hand for a little while. To feel skin against skin. In the other room, the Soldier was getting agitated because of Steve and the feedback loop was starting.

"I--"

They came for Tony then to get the Super Soldier and Super Guide to calm themselves again. Tony felt so helpless, slumping in his chair. The robot movie was turned off. The pizza was going cold. And Tony felt no more closer to any answers.